When Nik awoke, a heavy fog had blanketed the town. It was suffocating, even from inside. Nik pushed his window open to peer out. The fog rolled into his room, somehow knocking him down. His head hit the floor, knocking him out for several seconds. Nik opened his eyes to his childhood bedroom.
Nik clambered to his feet and headed to the kitchen. His parents were passed out drunk on the floor with broken bottles and fries scattered around them. It looked like a hurricane had blown through. Nik sighed. Although he had returned after running away, it was only out of necessity. The streets offered no protection from the wind.
The only food in the house seemed to be a box of Cheerios, which he forced himself to eat before heading out the door. Whiteness greeted him. He blinked several times, trying to see through the fog, but gave up and walked into the unknown.
The school day passed quickly, and Nik was forced to brave the fog again on his way home. It stuck to him. For every step he took, it pulled him back two more. The journey home seemed impossible.
Nik was almost home when he was struck in the face by something heavy. He pulled it off of his face and squinted down at the newspaper. “Ether Maitland Dead?” it read. Not surprising, Nik thought, before discarding it.
The door to his house was open, swaying gently. Nik cautiously entered, only to jump back as a flying bottle almost hit him, instead smashing against the wall.
“Sorry, dear,” his mother yelled, laughing. “It’s our game.”
His father threw another bottle at the ceiling fan, which hit the window. Both his parents burst out laughing. Nik rolled his eyes, and strode past them to his room.
He pulled out his phone, and dialed Nate’s number, but was met with an answering machine. Nik hung up and called again, but received no reply. Nik spent the next hour, re-dialing Nate, but to no avail. By the time, he decided to just leave a message, tears were sliding down his face.
“Nate, I’m so happy that you found that great job and you’re happy. I really need to talk to you though. Mom and Dad spent all of my college money. They’re unstable and dangerous. Please Nate, I need you.”
Nik hung up and prayed for Nate’s return.
Sentence
ReplyDelete“Nik was almost home when he was struck in the face by something heavy.”
Good because it also applies to him metaphorically being struck by his parents’ neglect
Question
What are your aspirations? If circumstances were different, how would you behave? What would you strive to be?
There is a good chance you address this earlier; I have not read all of your blogs yet.
Suggestion
Possibly explore your character beyond just the scopes of family tension. Obviously the family dynamics play a crucial role in shaping your character, but perhaps you could explore your own character more. Your quote is about hope, so you could have an optimistic encounter. It is hard to come up with suggestions! I think your blog is very strong, and I appreciate the humor throughout the dialogue. Good job! If my comments do not pertain to your personal plan/character development, then please disregard.